It started out just as an ordinary Sunday. I woke up to some mild contractions around 7am, but didn't think much of it. You see, a big part of why I haven't blogged in ages is because this pregnancy has been destroying me. For the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been getting intense Braxton Hicks contractions, usually super late at night. They would get down to 5 minutes apart, sometimes even less. And sometimes requiring me to breathe through them. A few times I even called in to the hospital, and a few times Alex and I were almost out the door to the hospital. And then they'd stop. This happened SO MANY TIMES. And it'd leave me exhausted, sore, and in tears.
So this morning was no different, I thought. I started getting ready for church, and the contractions continued. Around 8 am, I decided to humor myself and start timing the contractions (Alex always wants me to do so, and to actually tell him each time I'm contracting. I have a tendency of trying to either hide contractions from him or just not tell him - because I always assume there's no real point. Haha, I'm naughty, I know.)
The contractions were anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes apart. No big deal, I thought. This is how it always happens. And then, as soon as I get my hopes up that it's the real thing, the contractions stop. I'd gotten tired of getting my hopes up, so I kept curling my hair and putting on makeup. But, progressively, the intensity of the contractions got stronger, requiring some serious breathing.
I finally woke Alex around 9:20 am, asking him to help me get Carson ready for church since I was hurting so much. He's like, "Uhh, Breanne...you probably shouldn't be going to church if you're in this much pain from contractions." But I was Classic Breanne: "I'm fine! They'll stop just like they always do! If they're still happening after Sacrament meeting, I'll just come home then." It took a lot of convincing to get me to not go to church, and just as much convincing to call the hospital.
But I (very fortunately) ended up listening to my annoyingly-right-all-of-the-time husband. We called my mom, who came over from church. And before we left, I somehow felt the need to take some on-the-way-out-the-door-to-the-hospital pictures. Haha, how evident is it that I'm in A LOT of pain?! (btw, I was 39 weeks 3 days pregnant, according to my more recent estimated due date of July 9th, although tomorrow - July 6th - was my original due date.)
We got to the hospital and although deep down I felt like I was in labor, I kept telling myself and Alex that they were probably going to just send me home - telling me I was still only dilated to a 2-3, like at my appointment on Thursday. (Side note: at that appointment Thursday, the doctor I saw did a non-stress test that the little dude failed because he hardly ever moves around during the day. They ended up bringing us into labor and delivery that night for a repeat, and fortunately, the little tike was super active and passed with flying colors. But "non-stress test"?! HA! Yeah right. I was stressed. Just a wee bit.)
Anyway, they wheeled me up to a labor and delivery room, and it all felt very surreal. Especially being all done up for church, in my church clothes. haha. I was having to breathe through the pain more than ever, and when the checked me, lo and behold, I was dilated to a 5-6!! "You're definitely in labor, and this baby is definitely coming soon."
Best words I have EVER heard. Like seriously.
They hooked me up to the monitors, asked all their questions, and got me all ready to go. It was about 10:30 am. The pain was getting so bad that I pretty much had to squeeze Alex's hand off to get through each one. "When will the anesthesiologist get here?!" I kept asking. He showed up not too much longer after that, and gave me the liquid gold ... an epidural. How women go through child birth without one is beyond me.
After the golden magic of it kicked in, I was smiling and cracking jokes and just super duper excited. Like seriously. I've been ready to have this kid out of me for at least 3 weeks! Time progressed, and things reached a point where during each contraction, I really wanted to either poop or...well, push a baby out.
Dr. Abrams was on call, and he came to check things out. My water still hadn't broken, so he broke it with basically this big long stick. SO weird, but hey, child birth is weird, gross, and a whole lotta other stuff. He said I was dilated all the way, but that since there was some meconium in my water, he wanted to wait until the on call pediatrician (Dr. Pickens) could get here. Of course, I got a little worried - with Carson, there was meconium too, and I just started getting all scared that the umbilical cord was going to be wrapped around this little boy's neck too. Dr. Abrams explained, though, that Dr. Pickens wouldn't need to do anything major unless the baby didn't come out crying.
Around 12:30 pm or so, all the doctors and nurses were in place - their goggle-type masks and all - ready for me to get down to business. The first contraction came, and I pushed for 10 seconds, then repeated that for a second and third time. After the contraction passed, they were all so encouraging, saying how well I did and how close I was. I think by this point tears were comin' out because well, pushing out a baby just hurts. There's no other way to say it. If I remember right, Dr. Abrams said the baby was crowning, so that gave me hope that I was close, despite how much pain and pressure there was at that point. Oh, and I also knew at this point that this baby was wayy bigger than Carson. (Granted, Carson was underweight at 5 lb 12 oz, so it was good this baby felt bigger. But well, bigger baby = bigger hurtin', haha)
The second contraction came. I pushed for 10 seconds, then inhaled, and pushed for 10 more seconds. And he was out. :)
My perfect, screaming-his-lungs-out baby was out. I never thought hearing such a scream could send me into such happy tears. Hearing him cry - knowing he was okay - was the best feeling ever. And somehow, before I even laid eyes on him, hearing him cry ... well ... he was mine. I was his. He had my whole heart, my whole soul, and any previous fears that I wouldn't be able to love this little boy as much as I love Carson completely dissipated.
All morning up until that point, my mind kept drifting to Carson ... wondering how he was doing with my mom, how he was handling church without me, and well, just missing him a lot. But as soon as I heard my little baby cry, all I could think about was how much I loved both my little boys and how excited I was for them to meet.
After they cut the cord, delivered my placenta, and quickly cleaned him off a bit, the nurse (Amy - one of my favorites from when I had Carson) handed him to me. Sawyer Steven Lindner. 7 lbs 1.6 oz, and 19 3/4 in. long. 2 cute dimples on his cheeks, just like his big brother and Daddy. Dark blue eyes. Dark hair, and a whole lot of it! The nurses asked us if he looked like Carson, and I'd say he's got the same face shape and the same round cheeks.
I held him right away, and just melted to pieces. Cheesy sounding, but true. There's honestly no better smell in this entire world than newborn baby smell. It's like their blood and skin is just so fresh and perfect. And his oh-so soft skin and downy hair basically made me want to hold him forever. Eventually I gave him back for them to finish cleaning up, measuring, and all that good stuff. (During the whole process of getting him clothed, by the way, Sawyer peed on the nurses twice, pooped in one of the nurse's hands, and pooped in the blanket I was holding him in. Impressive.)
Of course we took lots of pictures, and of course Alex and I are enjoying every moment with him. :)
Terri and Macie came to visit, and it was so awesome having them meet Sawyer. I can't wait for everyone else in the family to meet my little cutie pie!
Breastfeeding has been going pretty well. It takes a while for Sawyer to latch on and sometimes he kind of falls off and has to re-latch, but he's doing great! I'm so proud of him! And it's just so cute the way he makes all these little squeaks and "uhh, uhh!" noises when he's trying to root! It's also so cute because when he's hungry, his face wrinkles up like a little old man and his lip starts to quiver. I know it may not sound adorable, but it really, really is! And just like with Carson, even Sawyer's cry is just so incredibly precious. I love it to pieces. :)
Later this evening, my mom brought Carson to visit. I've seriously never been more excited than for Carson and Sawyer to meet! We actually took a video of Carson meeting his little brother for the first time, and it is so precious. As soon as Carson came in the room, he knew something was different. He wanted to sit by me right away in bed, and he pointed to Sawyer and said, "Baby!" We put Sawyer in my arms and Carson right beside me, and Carson couldn't stop smiling and kissing his little brother. He'd touch Sawyer's nose and lips, and his whole face would light up. It melted me all the way to the core to see him love his little brother so immediately and so very deeply. In fact, any time my mom tried to hold Sawyer, Carson would plead to have Sawyer back in his arms!
At one point, my mom and I were talking to Carson about all the stuff he's going to teach Sawyer how to do, like crawling, clapping, swimming, fishing, etc etc. And all of a sudden, Carson folded his sweet little arms as if to add that he's going to teach Sawyer how to pray, too. SO precious. :)
I'm just so incredibly blessed and so very happy. I have my best friend, the person who understands me better than anyone else in this world, by my side - for eternity. And with my Alex, I have two little boys who fill me with more purpose and happiness than I thought possible. I'm so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has so richly blessed my life, despite the hard things that still happen. I don't think I've ever felt Heavenly Father's presence more in my life than when I am in the sweet, sacred role of motherhood. I love my Father in Heaven so much and feel so very privileged to get to raise two of His sons as my own sons here on earth. And I love my Alex, my Carson, my Sawyer, and that we can in fact be together forever.
Congratulations! Great story!
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