Today while Daddy was at work, we made special acai bowls for breakfast, which you sure love to help me make! You oh-so sweetly asked if you could open your presents, and I couldn't help but let you open one. You picked the big box, which was a set of Magna tiles (basically magnetic building shapes). You loved knocking over anything I built and laughing your head off over it!
We also had a picnic lunch, and of course, we had to make your birthday cake! Your request was a white cake with white frosting, so we made a white Texas sheet cake. I've made this before, and you completely gobble it up every time! On top of the cake, we put crushed Oreos in the shape of a "4" and then put a toy bulldozer in the Oreo "dirt." Easy and pretty basic, but you and your brother sure had a blast! (Mostly eating the batter and frosting, of course!)
Just like most days, we spent some time outside, too - riding your bikes up and down the sidewalk. I love how fast and fearless you've gotten! And also just like most days, we spent some time snuggling with trail mix and a movie.
Tonight, you were so excited for Daddy to get home from work because that meant you could open the rest of your presents. You ripped off the paper faster than I could take pictures, that's for sure! From Nana and Bumpa, you got a big red noisy truck with a trailer and 4 wheeler. The other presents you got from Mommy and Daddy were a baseball mitt (that Mommy got for $3!), those Magna tiles I mentioned before along with two Magna tile trains, and a take apart car (it has a battery operated screw driver that allows you to take it apart and rebuild over and over!). It was SO cute how incredibly excited you were over everything!
Tonight, you were so excited for Daddy to get home from work because that meant you could open the rest of your presents. You ripped off the paper faster than I could take pictures, that's for sure! From Nana and Bumpa, you got a big red noisy truck with a trailer and 4 wheeler. The other presents you got from Mommy and Daddy were a baseball mitt (that Mommy got for $3!), those Magna tiles I mentioned before along with two Magna tile trains, and a take apart car (it has a battery operated screw driver that allows you to take it apart and rebuild over and over!). It was SO cute how incredibly excited you were over everything!
My emotions are high right now, trying to find adequate words to express how much I love you, how remarkable of a person you are, and how you are years ahead of your age in so many ways. My emotions are also high because if I'm being completely honest, I haven't been in the best of places the past few months and you are a HUGE part of making things SO much better for me. Mommy broke her right fibula way back on July 21st, and I've been having complications of it healing since. Couple that with a few ER visits due to severely large fibroids and cysts, and I've just been a mess!
But you - from the start of all this, have been so incredibly in tune with my struggles. From the beginning, you'd bring me my crutches if I started to get to my feet - err, foot rather! And since my cyst and fibroid issues started, you come up to me multiple times a day and so tenderly ask, "Can I rub your belly for you, Mommy?" I swear, your love must be pretty darn powerful because I swear your belly rubs ease the pain.
I can remember one time soon after I broke my leg ... I hadn't been very kind or patient with you or your brother. As I tucked you into bed that night, I cried a bit as I said, "Oh Carson, I'm SO sorry for not being very nice today." Your response was an incredibly tight hug and, "I love you, Mommy," or something like that.
Another time more recently when I was putting you to bed, you were having a tough time and crying over something. I couldn't get you to stop, so after trying everything else, I finally said as my voice quivered, "Carson ... can I tell you a secret?" You immediately stopped crying; I think because you could already tell how tough of a time I was having. I continued, "Mommy is having a really tough day. Mommy's leg and belly hurt so much, and I just really need you, Carson. I need you to hold me and help me feel better." I was crying by the end of that, but you had already not just thrown your arms around me, but you were squeezing me tighter than I thought possible for someone your size. I get all choked up again just thinking about it ... about how incredibly selfless and mindful of others you are.
Even today - on your birthday - when you got to pick out one present to open this morning before Daddy came home from work, you saw a little car I forgot to wrap. Before even picking out your present to open, you asked, "Can I give this to Sawyer to open when he wakes up?" And you're always doing that sort of thing - thinking of your brother before you think of yourself. Or just going out of your way to help Sawyer feel better if he's in any way sad. A couple days ago, in fact, you and I got Sawyer up from his nap. He was having a hard time waking up, and you tenderly asked, "Sawyer, do you want me to snuggle you on the couch?" He said yes. Once on the couch, you got a pillow next to you and said, "Here, Sawyer, you can sit on my lap and lay your head on this pillow!" It was just so precious how you wanted to make something as simple as waking up from a nap easier for Sawyer.
And then last night, your daddy's head hurt pretty bad ... and you could just tell. After getting ready for bed, you brought a pillow for Daddy's head and you put multiple blankets on top of him. Then, in that ever-tender voice, you asked, "Daddy, want me to rub your head for you?" And you did. What impressed me so much was Daddy hadn't even mentioned his head hurt; you could just ... tell.
I feel like I can't even wrap my head around all the things you're able to do now. You can count very accurately to 10. And then you keep going to 20, with a little less accuracy! haha! You've gotten really good at understanding the value of those numbers, too. It's been really cute seeing you try to teach Sawyer that, too. You'll patiently and slowly count/point to cars, "Okay Sawyer ... this is one ... two ... three cars!" And you'll keep at it until Sawyer repeats after you!
You're pretty good with your ABCs too, and you often point out letters when you see writing somewhere. You're a pro at all your colors, riding your red shiny bike with training wheels, dressing yourself and getting shoes on/off, peeing and pooping on the potty (no more accidents anymore! ... unless you get too distracted with playing with cousins to make it to the potty in time, oops!), and getting into treats you aren't supposed to get into!
Speaking of treats, after your bath tonight, you came up to me in the living room - all wrapped up in your cute monkey towel - and you asked me, "Mommy, can I eat the rest of my cake?" Oh, do I ever love you for having my sweet tooth!
I love you so much for your compassion and thoughtfulness - towards me and just about everyone you come in contact with. I love the way you talk with your hands, especially when you're trying to make a point. I love how you crinkle up your nose when you and I are being silly. I love how you love to help me clean (you and Sawyer both do!). I love how good of an eater you are, for the most part! I love the way you say "Thank you, Mommy!" especially when it's something you're a bit surprised over (like if I give you a treat you weren't expecting or if I tell you we're about to do something particularly fun). I love how tightly you snuggle me at night (you still sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed, and I have no regrets about it right now), and I love how on nights like tonight, you laced your fingers with mine and kissed my hand repeatedly as you drifted off to sleep. I love how the smallest of things make your whole face light up with joy. I love how you (and Sawyer) still will run as fast as you can to the door yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" even if I've only been gone an hour. I love how your existence made me a mommy. I love how despite the fear that first came upon your arrival in this world, you have since made each day so incredibly joyful and worth it. I love how deeply you breath when you sleep and how noticeably longer your eyelashes look when you're asleep.
I love you, my birthday boy, for who you are and for the person I see you flourishing into. Thank you, with all the sincerity of my heart, for helping me get through these past few difficult months. You are a genuine light in my life, no matter how cheesy that may sound. Happy birthday, my little Carson.
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