new firsts

Today was an exciting day! (..oh, how the simple things are so exciting when you're a mom) Carson has continually been entertaining himself by army crawling around. But today, he actually crawled a little ways on his hands and knees! It was so adorable because I could tell he was so excited about crawling in a different way. I think he could tell it would get him places faster. He's just still workin' out the whole balancing-up-on-his-knees thing. That, and the alternating-the-knees-and-hands thing.

Carson also pulled himself up against the couch all by himself for the first time today! And then he even managed to take a couple of steps along the edge of the couch! It was seriously so exciting! Maybe all it took was having his umbrella stroller folded up on the couch to motivate him! (he loves spinning the wheels ... and chewing on them)

I had a new "first" myself today. At my appointment with my counselor, Jessica yesterday, we talked a lot about how I've lost my own personal identity - outside of being a mother and a wife. We talked about how I need to develop a social network locally - outside of Carson, Alex, and my in-laws. Jessica and Alex kept telling me how something like this takes time; a lot of time. And I kept telling them how hard it is for me to initially make friends, and how at the same time, I hate doing things by myself. But, I can see now how I need to be my own person - and comfortable in my own skin.

So, tonight, I left the house with blueberries scattered all over the refrigerator and floor, a wailing child hungry for dinner, and a slightly-flustered husband who kept insisting I leave. And somehow, I actually left! I went to a movie - all by myself. It was Jessica's idea, and Alex loved the idea. I, however, did not.

At first, anyway. But it was the BEST thing ever. I was left to my own thoughts. I got to pick the movie (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was AMAZING, btw). I actually got myself popcorn. And a soda. And candy. Oh, and the movie ended up being in 3-D, so it was even more expensive. And even though I didn't feel like I was worth the $11.50 ticket cost, I forced myself anyway.

And I feel amazing. :) I'm liking the idea of finding myself as an individual again. :)